So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My life is pants optional.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
