Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
