It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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