He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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