put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
