she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Go christen that room with your naked body.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
