Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
