Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
