jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
