ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
