May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
