I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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