I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
His hands were made for my vagina.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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