I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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