SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
