i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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