thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
