Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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