Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
