chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
