Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
