My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
