i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
