my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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