You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
