wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
