I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
