Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
