and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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