I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
