Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
