I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
