med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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