I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
