We're facebook friends in real life
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
