Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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