That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
