hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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