Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
