yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize