Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Enjoy the penises
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
