Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
