Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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