So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
