she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
