I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
