"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
