i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
