Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize