he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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