the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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