we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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