And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I could fuck to npr.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
