so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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