everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
