His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
