i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
