DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
