just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just had sex on a roof
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
