Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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