Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
