So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
