summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
