I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize