its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
