dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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