my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
